Breathe

Before I do anything else, I want to say thank you to EVERYONE! I can't even begin to put into words how much I appreciate the sweet words, encouragement, prayers, time, effort, and the list goes on! I say it all the time but just can't say it enough. I am blessed to have each and every one of you in my life!

SO a little life update....

I think I may have said earlier in the summer that I needed a hobby... I don't think that will be necessary anymore. I have picked up 2 hobbies: maintaining my sanity and remembering. I have NEVER been so busy and had so many things to remember. I have always been pretty good about remembering things. There's just a lot of "new" going on all at once, so hopefully I will turn back into the responsible, reliable me I am used to. SOON:)

So let me just sum up life in a nutshell...

- I kind of like the crazy...I chose the right profession

- I have slept on top of my covers all week. 1. Because I love that my bed is made. I know if I undo it to get under the covers it won't get made again until the weekend. 2. It's the only neat and tidy in my life right now...wwweeelll.. now that I look at it, it's filled with laundry that needs to be put away and random objects. It's still technically made though. Stop judging me.

- I sleep in my workout clothes to make sure I get up and workout.

- I am slowly learning how to use a coffee pot. Day 1. complete fail...stopped at Starbucks. Day 2. I made a lovely cup in my new coffee pot...apparently did it wrong and there were grounds in places they shouldn't have been. I am an expert mess maker!

- My poor parents get to see the "on edge me".Thank the Lord they love me and forgive easy.

- Technology has waged a war against me. I am LOSING!


AH needless to say...it has been CRAZY! (These are just a few things I am willing to share;)) But in the midst of it all God steps in and reminds me to breathe! I was reading my study and the title was Breathe. Life gets tough, crazy, and down right depressing at times, and it gets completely overwhelming. I am so amazed at how perfect His timing is because I needed that reminder to just stop and take a breath. To breathe in the aroma of Christ. Of His peace and sovereignty. The only place to find rest...real rest...is in the arms of the Father. He is my Creator. He knows my limits and my needs!

"Had the Lord Jesus been far away from us, with many a stormy sea between, we should have longed to send a messenger to Him to carry Him our loves, and bring us tidings from his Father’s house; but see His kindness, He has built His house next door to ours, nay, more He takes lodging with us, and tabernacles in poor humble hearts, that so He may have perpetual communion with us.” -CH Spurgeon

Escape

Some days I feel like I am constantly on the brink of a break down...

This week has been filled with such days...
We will just highlight a few of these moments for mine and your sake;).

- locking myself out of a family friend's home while feeding their cat (yes, I have a gift; no, I have no idea how I manage to lock myself out of places all the time!)

- walking into my new classroom filled with things and I have no idea where to even begin. I walk in circles 90% of the time. I am struggling to imagine it all coming together although I know it will...well it must, so yeah. I am thankful for this crazy in my life because I know that many sweet memories will be had in there this year.

- coming home from working in the classroom that is about to swallow me whole to find that I have to fill out loads of paperwork that I have already filled out.

- bills....can I get an amen...praise the Lord for insurance.

- restless nights from all of the excitement

When I have these weeks, all I can think about when I stop are the places I want to escape to. Today I stop to plan my great escape....

My perfect escape involves mountains, a beautiful lake, perfect weather (shorts and long sleeves), a gentle breeze, a hammock, new and beautiful tunes playing softly somewhere, delicious fresh foods, and a book that inspires. Campfire at night with s'mores, live campfire music praising God for his beautiful handiwork, and wrap it all up with some fun story time. All in the company of someone special...no not like that... any and all who are pleasant and fun to be with:).

While this won't be happening anytime soon, I look forward to those more brief escapes that I hope will offer a bit of refreshing.
Morning runs; music, coffee, and Jesus; driving...maybe a nice little jam sesh;); and a nice weekend with my fun niece and pregger big sis and the rest of the fam.

(Get ready for all the pictures to flood your instagrams;) Who knows what mischief we will get into).

For now it's back to work. Feel free to kidnap me anytime for that perfect escape;).

Passionate pursuit

Singleness. I get all kinds of responses when asked if I am dating or married. As I muster my strength to prepare for yet another conversation on my lack of a significant other, I nervously say no, waiting to see how this one will respond. Some say I am young and have plenty of time. In other words...good for you, enjoy your singleness, no need to rush. Others say, "Well why not?"  Which in my mind is interpreted a little something like this: What's wrong with you?  As if they are saying if you are still single, then you must have problems. Neither of these are conversations I enjoy having. I have no words for them except that I am simply waiting on the Lord. Some understand, many don't.

Most days I can wake up and see that God has my life in His hands, and that He is working all things out for His glory and my good.
Most days!

Some days (more than I care to admit if I am honest) it only starts out that way, and my heart quickly takes a downward spiral. On these days, the most well intentioned comments such as: "God has someone special out there for you." or "I can't believe someone hasn't snatched you up yet." hit the tender parts of my heart all wrong. I truly appreciate these words because I know it means that I have a great many people that care for me and want to see me experience the happiness that they have in their marriages and families.

Our society is filled with ways to meet your mate. Internet dating, speed dating, social media, and reality shows. I have nothing against any of these methods! I know some lovely couples...some of my favorites in fact that met in some of these ways, and I love their stories. The newest show "It Takes a Church" (which I walked in on my dad watching...), is a show where a church sets up single ladies and gentlemen in the church. I have only seen the commercials for it. I don't know how I feel about this.

I guess I am just very convicted in my waiting. I believe (I speak only for my journey. I truly believe it is different for each of us) that it is a matter of faith. If I begin to try to make it happen for myself, I find that I lose sight of my first love (Rev.2:4) and my walk with the Lord severely suffers. And if I am losing sight of the Lord, then something is terribly wrong with that approach. For me, I believe that the Lord is asking me to trust Him to bring it all together in His perfect way and His perfect timing.

So as I see people chasing so hard after love. As I see the longings of my own heart, I am convicted. If we as singles would pursue the Lord with as much energy as we do a relationship, how much different would our relationships with Christ look. If we longed to love and be loved by the One who is love as much as we long for an earthly love, how would that change the way we live our lives. I want to meet my special someone on a run. Not my morning runs;) I would like to run up alongside someone who is pursuing a life in Christ. My heart's desire has always been that someone will fall in love with me for the way that I am in love with the Lord, and I pray I will love someone for the same reasons.

I believe that if I pursue Christ, run hard after Him, and remember my first love, that He will bless me in ways I never imagined. I trust that He knows the desires of my heart and that He only has the very best in store for me!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Excuses and Distractions

How I ever get anything done is a miracle. I feel like I am so easily distracted. I guess the Lord blessed me with just enough adult ADD (self-diagnosed and hopefully a bit exaggerated) so that I can relate more to my little daydreaming students. Side note: There are so many things that I have to correct my students on and then turn around and find myself doing the exact same thing. Examples: 1. watching where you are going 2. reading directions carefully. And now I find I have more and more empathy for those students who struggle to stay on task. I always say if I ever decide to go back to school for my masters, it will definitely be a challenge!

SO to help with my struggle to keep my attention on any one thing for longer than five 5 minutes, I am going to do my very best to have unplugged time. I have goals I would like to accomplish this summer. I do not want to waste this time off! And it would be sssoo easy to get caught up in facebook and pinterest and watching all the morning talk shows and then look up and my day is gone. It's so easy to put off for tomorrow what needs to be done today. And that can become such a vicious cycle. I am going to do my absolute very best to not check anything on my social media, until after 7 pm each evening.

I have a few opportunities already lined up to hang out with some sweet people I love. I hope that the summer is filled with many more. I want to fully enjoy these moments!

To start the summer off right, I have 2 weeks with this wild child and my preggy sister!

I also pray that this summer is a season of intimate time with my Savior. Confession time... I feel that in the craziness of life, I have seen my focus in my relationship with the Lord struggle. My heart longs for something deeper. I am hungry to know the depths of God's love for me and to have a passion for sharing that love with others. I could go on and on about why I have allowed distractions to slowly take my focus but I will just end with this. I am thankful that I serve a God of grace. Oh how I have learned of my wretchedness and my need for His grace! He is waiting patiently to spend intimate mornings with me, to remind me of all that He is and all that I am in Him. He is eager to reveal Himself to us all in new ways everyday.

Another big goal for the summer, is to meet some health and fitness goals. I am learning that everyday I need to be on guard...looking out for places I am about to make a lame excuse. An excuse I am sure to regret!  Laziness isn't an option and my next treat day will be my birthday (Aug.6 if anyone would like to join me...I already know what it shall be;). I also want to really train hard, I have plenty of time on my hands!  So no excuses! Plus,  I can do a lot more for the Lord working with children if I am healthy and strong.

Pretty much my summer goal in all areas is to find the self-discipline that is hiding somewhere deep down inside me! Not to eliminate things completely, but to learn how to live with them and not allow them to be consuming.

So this will be my last blog post for a while. One less distraction. One less excuse (pinterest makes me hungry). I will still be on Facebook (I imagine I will not miss an evening of checking it),  but if you need to get me fast, text is the best way. I'll have that ringer up loud since my summer job is to find a job.

Sweet Summertime

Never tell a teacher, "It must be nice to have summers off" Unless you have taught, you probably won't  understand the need for the break. Plus, I am constantly thinking and planning for the next year during my summer. The break to recover from the year completed and to prepare for the year ahead is a must! And please know that I am not saying I have the toughest job by any means! I love what I do and enjoy the chaos of it all.  I am sure many other professions could benefit from a similar break as well and deserve more recognition and appreciation for what they do.

So I like to set some concrete goals for my summer, since I am not working camp this summer, I don't want my summer to slip past me and look back and feel like I got nothing done. So in no particular order...

- Clean OUT! Like major cleaning out! I am sure I have said this many times before, but I am planning to do some serious organizing and cleaning out of my room and bathroom. If it hasn't been touched or used in a while or have some serious sentimental value...it's gone. A friend said it best...clutter can be exhausting...I'm exhausted;)

- Try new clean eating/healthy recipes. At least one a week. I started yesterday with homemade lara bars. Success.

- Yoga and pilates. These are great core workouts that I enjoy in addition to my runs.

- Spend less! Save some money.

-Job search! This really should be at the top of my list! And spend lots of time in prayer over where the Lord will lead me.

- Study/read: books, get into the Word, and study up on this Common Core fun:/

- Less social media...more face time. Spend time investing in relationships...friends and family.

- Try something new. Learn something new. Just do something exciting...it's been far too long:)

Most teachers love what they do, and we adore our students. But like I said, summers are needed and well deserved. Not to mention, it doesn't take long before I am eagerly anticipating the beginning of school:).

Dr. Oz's 3 Day Detox

I blame the polar vortex!
This was quite the challenge! Quite! Texture has been the biggest struggle. I am sure you are supposed to have a high end super power juicer so that it doesn't come out like mine:/ The taste wasn't the problem. And I am not one of those people who is weird about textures, but if someone tells you this drink is good or even OK, go ahead and take them off the people you can trust list.

Motivations that got me through it:
- I posted it on facebook. I was hesitant, but I am glad I did. Otherwise I would have gracefully bowed out if no one knew I was trying it.
- It was a challenge. I try  not to back down from a challenge I have accepted, especially if everyone knows about it;).
- This will definitely help motivate me to eliminate caffeine, refined sugar, and processed foods. I will eat right, so I feel right, and so I never have to do this again. It really wasn't terrible if I could find a better alternative to lunch. But like I said the lack of enjoyment of actually drinking them will keep me on track!
- 3 Days...that's definitely dooable.
- The investment- purchasing all of the ingredients for the drinks. I hate being wasteful.
- The hope that my clothes will fit comfortably again like they did pre-polar vortex.
- Summer is upon us.

Modifications I made to the Dr. Oz plan:
- I did not want the snack smoothie, but I am pretty sure that's optional
- I did not take the multi-vitamin...I have had bad experiences with those if I don't eat a substantial meal.
-I did not take the omega-3 or do the detox bath to cut costs. I already take pro-biotics, so I just continued.

I wrote a quick bit after each meal. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer! And I am an open book, so feel free to ask whatever. Overall I would recommend it!
Day 1:
Breakfast Drink:
- The green tea made me queezy. I drink it all the time but usually with breakfast. So I think it was because I may have drank it too quickly and on an empty stomach.
- The only substitute I did today was the almond butter. The only kind I could find at our local stores had added sugar. So I had natural pb already and used it. I will get almond butter today while we are in town.
- The drink is pretty good. Of course my parents didn't enjoy the taste that they had but overall I enjoyed it. I like that it tastes healthy...my dad's dramatic reaction was "that's gotta be healthy"...he didn't like it;).
It's raspberry so it's very seedy, and I think I will try tearing the spinach to help it break down more.

Lunch Drink:
- Um... one word....bleh!
- I left out the celery because I don't like it and many reviews said it was very overpowering and that they also left it out. I also exchanged spinach for the kale. I can only imagine how bad it would have been with those 2 in it!
- The cup I drink out of all the time, never seemed so big!
- Mom looked over and noticed the little progress I had made in the 20-30 minutes since I had begun. She implied that maybe it was growing...
-I can do it 2 more times but let's be clear: I will not enjoy it and I better notice some kind of results;).

Dinner Drink:
I did it exactly to recipe except for the Kale. I will always substitute for spinach because I have heard Kale is bitter and spinach is a good replacement nutrient wise. The taste is fine but at this point I am already tired of drinking and the blueberries didn't blend well so it's still not a nice smooth drink.

Concluding day 1:
- I was fine energy wise. I did take a long nap, but I was up late and woke up early. Not to mention, I'm usually a fan of Saturday afternoon naps anyways.
-  I was able to workout. I ran 5 and walked 1. I usually run 6 with no problem,  but I did it in the afternoon which is quite warm so  I was just really thirsty. (If you haven't noticed, the weather and I have a love-hate relationship...I blame it for all my troubles).
-Overall I feel fine...not hungry, not weak.
I have also come to the conclusion that Tuesday maybe my new favorite day;)'

Day 2:

I literally dreamed about these drinks all night. It was trickery though because in my dreams I had already drunk them, so I thought I was closer to the end than I actually was.:/ I was disappointed when I woke up.
Breakfast Drink:
-I definitely like the breakfast drink best. Texture wise it is the easiest to handle.
-I can taste and smell a bit of the banana (which I cannot stand) but it's mostly covered by the raspberries. If I could replace the other 2 with this one, this would be a breeze!
- I have had great energy. Came home from church and knocked out several chores that have needed to be done all week.

Lunch Drink:
- I drank it early...not because I was hungry...but because I wanted to get that awfulness over and done with! One more time...just one more time...that's how I got through it...Yucka Mucka!

DInner Drink:
- Amazing! Maybe it's just because it follows the hideous lunch drink... how many adjectives can you find to describe how bad that lunch drink is;)
- Went to my cousin's graduation party where there was a delicious looking chantily cake (one of the ones like you get at Whole Foods...can't spell it). We brought some home and both my mom and dad asked if Tuesday I would eat any. To which, I quickly reply that I didn't go through all of this to eat cake! Now for super special occasions, I will indulge, but not day to day.

Day 3:

Breakfast:
- I decided to go ahead and get that nasty lunch drink over and done with, so I had it for breakfast. Staying busy while drinking on it helped. Plus the time restraint of getting out the door on time got it down faster. Plus I didn't want my students to have to watch me drink that mess, and I didn't want to dread it all morning;). The worst is officially over!
- Knowing it was the last time I had to drink it made it much better;)
- Drinking on the green tea now. I found that it made me feel nassau if I drank it first thing, so I think drinking it with something on my stomach will help.

Lunch:
- I had the breakfast drink
- I was so hungry because I had my breakfast drink so early. It was amazing, and I was satisfied after drinking it.

Dinner:
- I went for a bike ride and a short walk with good old Dodger.
- I was hungry, so it was delicious. Really anything tastes great after the green monster of the lunch drink;).

I weighed before I drank the dinner drink tonight, and based on my weight a couple weeks ago, I only lost a couple of pounds...likely water weight. I usually weigh in the morning, so that could have been a factor. But I wouldn't advise it for weight loss. It's a great jump start if you are looking to make a change. For example, I am working really hard to eliminate as much refined sugar as possible (I will enjoy family dinners and things, but just watching portions and 98% of my eating I would like to say is processed sugar free). Some do it for caffeine, or whatever healthy living goal you are working towards. If you do it for weight loss and just return to eating as you were before, you will likely gain it back.

I came to appreciate a few things. Mostly that eating properly definitely affects how you feel. 1. It's a mental thing. Knowing I was eating well was a mood booster in itself! 2. Bloat was gone. 3. Energy was good! 4. Appetite was satisfied.

There is so much I could say but the biggest thing is that it showed me that even in the midst of the craziness of life...being out and about and needing to grab a bite to eat, parties, work (cupcakes, deserts, candy, take out, etc.), satisfying a need to have a snack...there are easy healthy options. All you need to do is plan ahead and commit to making a healthy choice or the healthiest choice available (I need to invest in a larger purse to carry around snacks options when out and about;)).

And it taught me that I like to bite my food! I would do it again...not anytime soon. But only if I could replace that lunch drink. I will probably do the other 2 every now and then when I need to fit in some fruits or veggies fast.

Heading in the right direction

Well sweet friends, I am clearly the picture perfect example of what it means to take baby steps and of celebrating my successes no matter how small they maybe...as I put down my empty bowl of ice cream...ugh...I know I know...please don't judge me, it was a rough day and a treat felt warranted.

Anyways, I am not, and I repeat not perfect in this healthy, clean eating business. Kudos to those who are awesome enough to change your life over night, but that just isn't me! Trust me I wish it were. My hopes are that one day I will be an organic hipster...well at least very close to it;). I am getting there but like I said I am baby steppin' it and somedays it's more of a shuffle but at least I am moving in the right direction.

One thing I have done great at (if I may give myself a pat on the back) is drinking loads of water. I love the benefits of drinking all the water. I see the results of it most in my skin. It just seems healthier. Drinking loads of water does have a minor downfall, but I am sure you can guess what problem drinking too much water will cause. Which is good but annoying...alright moving on...

Sugar is in just about everything. When you start reading labels it's amazing that most things have sugar as one of the first 5 ingredients, if not the first 3. I am just going to assume you all know what that means when reading labels because I tried to explain it and wasn't doing so hot! So starting today I am going to do my best to only eat things with natural sugars. Even things that appear healthy have added sugar as one of the first few ingredients... granola bars, granola cereal, yogurt, wheat bread, fruit bars, some fruit and veggie drinks. This is so disappointing:( Why can't they be honest and make actually healthy treats.

As for coffee and caffeine, I have cut back. That's progress. I am pretty sure coffee is the equivalent of aderol (however that is spelled) for me... I am amazingly productive when I have a nice cup of joe. And I can't sit still and sometimes I get a little shaky and I get chatty....OK so I am a different person lol. Since school is winding down, I am going to only drink coffee when there are things that must get done! I don't know that caffeine is all that bad for you,  but I don't like that if I don't have any I get a headache, especially since headaches are not normal for me at all. I don't like being dependent on it to function daily. Plus it's nice that my body isn't used to it, so it does have an effect on me when I need it to ;).

I would love to share a pretty little motivational quote I found somewhere that often comes to mind...but I can't find it anywhere so I will do my best to quote it for you:
"You can't work-off bad choices" Ok that's not it at all...hmmm... the basis is that eating right is more important than working out. They are both important, but what you eat greatly affects how effective working out is. Something like this...

Seasons of Change

The end of a season of my life is nearing...well by the time I post this, it is probably wrapping up. I have been writing on this post for a bit to make sure it is just right.

A private school was the last place I thought I would work because of financial reasons. I could blame it on the terrible economy I was "blessed" to enter into after graduating college, but I prefer to believe it was all in God's perfect plan. I wound up at Amite Christian School teaching 2nd grade. I thought it would just be a good place to get my feet wet. And while it was indeed that, it became so much more! I have learned so much as a teacher and in life in general. See each spring time, the question that would surface around my family went a little something like "So are you going to try to get in the public schools next year?" Each year I made an effort. Well, the first year you may not really call it an effort. The next year I actually looked at the applications for the public schools in our area. The next I actually filled them out and dropped some resumes off. And then this year, I went ahead and said from the beginning of the year that it would be my last year at Amite. I had to or I may never have left. Especially with the great things that the Lord is doing there. I have come to truly love the school not because they have it all together (no place is perfect), but because the people (students, faculty, administration, and families of our students) began to take more and more of a special place in my heart. It became a such a sweet place for me.

As students have begun to find out that I will not be returning next year, I have received sweet notes and tight, loving hugs! I have disappointed a kitchen worker or two who will have to find someone else to give a hard time about their hair or outfit or the way they fix their beverage at the break of dawn each day. Another reason I need coffee some days;). As a side note, these guys make me laugh each day...most days...and I will dearly miss them. They helped me remember to smile despite some rough days, and they didn't even know they were doing it.

I have been blessed to teach some of the sweetest, most precious children. I love to see them succeed academically and learn to be a friend to one another. This school is a place where children learn to love one another, to serve their classmates, teachers, and people they have never even met. We pray for unreached people groups, give to children less fortunate (compassion international), and so much more. Because of the efforts of our administration, staff, and parents, I witness daily my students showing genuine selflessness and care for others. I learn a lot from them!

Most importantly I love seeing their love for Christ. Friends, I tell you that the combination of great parenting and good schooling and most importantly God's sovereign hand on these children...He is raising up some beautiful people for this generation!

I will dearly miss getting to teach Bible. Getting to openly use God's Word as an instrument to redirect poor behavior. Reminding children to love all people as God loves them. Playing kids' praise as we work. Tuesday morning chapel.

I have thoroughly enjoyed each of my 4 classes. I have sweet memories from each of them, and from each student! And I couldn't ask for a sweeter class to end this season with. They are so loving and precious! I could go on and on but I will simply share a few highlights from this year and a few pictures.

*One student says this while another teacher's hand is in his mouth wiggling a tooth. I must have walked past and he said "Ah I wish she was my age" She believes he was talking about me. I don't care if that's true, I am just going to believe it is because I needed to be reminded that someone wanted to be my friend that day;).

* While discussing anything to do with the word "kiss", "love", and "being a gentleman" The boys shake their head and get uncomfortable...it throws me off my teaching game because I just have to laugh. I love their innocence! We recently discussed how boys should make sure a girl has a proper seat, you would have thought I had told them they had to hold their hands or something. I hope to always stay in the age-range where boys and girls don't have all of the drama of whose "dating" who!

*One student always compliments me on something I am wearing that day. I may or may not have been a little flattered when she compared me to Fancy Nancy. And I may or may not consider whether or not she would compliment my outfit as I select what I will wear that day;).

 Right before a group hug turned into a big pile of children;).

I receive the sweetest notes that make my day! I put these up to 1. show how sweet their precious hearts are 2. to save them because I don't want to lose them. I didn't post them to brag because trust me I am quite unworthy of such kind words, but I'll take them!

Despite the fact that I will dearly miss the season of life, I am not dreading the season of change to come. I am not a crier, even though I keep waiting for the day that it will hit me that I won't have this class stopping by next year on their way to their new classes to give me hugs, and I won't get to teach some of the precious 1st graders coming up. I am not really sad about leaving. I am, but the timing and all just feels right. I am not stressed even though I am facing uncertain unemployment. I am at complete peace! That is such a wonderful feeling. I feel like I should be stressed...like I am not doing something right, but I know that God has plans for my tomorrow. I look forward to being in a place where I am open to whatever opportunities He opens up for me. Side note: I may say I am stressed but it's more because I DREAD and DETEST the job search process!

I know that the change to the public school system will be good for me. I look forward to new challenges and learning and growing more as a teacher. I am very excited about the possibilities.
As sad as I will be to leave this sweet school, I am trusting that God has something great ahead. If you were to ask me what my 5 year plan was at my college graduation, it would look very different than where I am now...very. And while those hopes and dreams are still the desires of my heart, as I reflect on the past 4 years, I am overwhelmed to see that God knows just where I need to be. And as I enter into a time of change and uncertainty (As I have said,I do not have a job for the fall yet...it's just the way it has to work out sometimes if you know much about the school systems...), I am learning to trust in God's perfect plan. I am not a fan of not having a solid plan. Like I got nothing:/. I am a teacher, which makes me a planner...it's one of the big interview questions "How do you plan for your lessons/day?". Thankfully I had great teachers in college who stressed this, so I usually nail that question;).

My prayers are:
- that I survive the interview/job search process! I really, strongly, fiercely dislike the process of job searching, applications, and most dreadfully interviewing. Prayers are more than welcome!

- that I will be right where God wants me and that I will be patient in waiting for Him to lead me there. I pray that I will continue to not make my own  plans, so that I can see His plans more clearly.

- that I will push through when I am weary and worn from the process...or that God let's this process be quick and painless...ahhh a girl can dream! I am sure most people don't see this process as such a big deal, but for me it's the worst:/ I know there will be a lot of opportunities to learn and grow...there already have been but I would prefer to learn and grow with a secure job;).

Lastly...the truth of God's word that offers the strength and encouragement to begin a season of complete uncertainty...

" But those who wait on the Lord,
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9

There are so many more but those are 2 of my favorites. Thank you to all of those who have been encouraging me already through this. I look forward to this next season, but I will be doing all I can to stay present in my today because I still have to 2 sweet weeks and 2 days left. I know it will go by too fast! 

Joy in today!

When the worries of tomorrow tempt you away from the joys of today, it's exhausting! I am not a stresser...well maybe I am a silent stresser. It catches up to me before I even realize it, so I don't realize I am worried or stressed until I realize I have been a bit on edge. I inwardly get a bit grumpy. Inwardly because I try hard (and often times fail) to not let it show.

Anyways. My tomorrow was begging for my attention today, and I am fighting to stay in the present. The Bible has plenty to say about it, so I guess God sees how easily our hearts and minds wander to the future and miss out on the precious moments of today!

So I hope I come home exhausted everyday...not because I let the demands of the next approaching season of life stress me out and burden me with worries but because I loved hard, hugged tightly, listened closely, spoke encouragingly, worshipped deeply,  smiled widely, dug deep, and shared in every moment that today had to offer.

I don't want to look back and wish I had done more to share each precious day with these beautiful

faces. (In the above picture, I learned to take pictures before sugary treats...it's a miracle we got this one;)).

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough of its own troubles." Matthew 6:33-34

"This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

I don't know what to believe...

Apples are the dirtiest produce because of pesticides....I eat an apple with peanut butter/greek yogurt dip almost every morning for breakfast.

Skim milk....what do they do to make it skim...that's all I have drank for years. Mom showed me an article, and I haven't been able to drink it since:/

Organic milk....the expiration date is much longer than regular milk...why is that?

Turkey...I have seen the process for making turkey dogs on one of those how it's made shows...can't do it!

Microwaves...I enjoy leftovers and popcorn....apparently microwaving isn't good for you...I always figured nuking your food couldn't be doing great things for you but now there's an article for it.

Oh and the list goes on.

I mentioned before that I want to be more educated on nutrition. Now I am not sure I really want to know. I am scared to eat much of anything the more I learn about stuff! With the popularity of blogs and pinterest, there are so many fads out there, (gluten free, vegan, dairy free, oil pulling, carb free, high protein, etc.) and I don't want to jump on a "fad wagon".  Or jump from one fad to the next. I am such a sceptic when it comes to blogs and pinterest and things. It's so hard to know if the source is reliable. I just don't know what to believe! I just want to be healthy and put good things in my body, so I can run and play and have energy and be the best me.

I must say, sometimes I get a bit discouraged when trying to eat healthy. I really am not doing it to see instant results because I know if I want it to last, it needs to be slow and steady and more about a change that will last. I want it to just become who I am. When I started working out, it was slow and gradual with many set backs along the way, and now it is just a part of my life. I hate missing a workout. I am healthy. I enjoy healthy foods, and I am in shape. So I won't be discouraged by set backs or lack of instant results. But it's always nice to see results;). I will say that each week it gets easier. Plus I truly do feel better the better I eat! 

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So I go back and forth on whether or not to post things. I enjoy sharing life with people. I feel our generation is slowly losing the desire to be truly intentional with one another. And for someone who naturally struggles with that, I try to be aware of things that are hindering me from being intentional. It doesn't have to be face to face, although that is always my favorite and my sweetest time with people, but it can be as simple as making an effort in some way or another to be more intentional with people on an individual basis. BUT I spent some time reading back through some random posts of mine, facebook and blogs, and I was so encouraged to see how God has been with me through the many different seasons of life. (I feel vain looking at my own facebook timeline so much, but sometimes I enjoy a walk down memory lane.) It is so refreshing to be reminded of what God has taught me. And when I began writing this blog about 4 years ago, I was in a very similar season of life that I am currently in. A season of uncertainties. I will do my best to share more on that soon. So I say all this to say, I write this blog for 2 reasons.

1. I am terrible at keeping a written journal. So I write for myself. To allow me to keep a journal of sorts of my life to look back on and be reminded of the faithfulness of God during the different seasons of my life. It's always good to look back...laugh a little, cry a little, thank the sweet Lord a lot:)

2. To hopefully encourage a friend or 2 along the way. Maybe even make a friend or 2 along the way!

Fire breathing dragons

Winter's chill always fools me into thinking I will enjoy the warmth of summer. Well actually, I crave spring, but we all know how spring in Louisiana is...short if you are even lucky to get it at all. I belong in a place where there is spring and fall...they are my favorite!  The polar vortex of a winter we had this year definitely made me crave some warmer days. Sure, I enjoy certain parts of the cold weather...like leggings, boots, scarves, fires, warm drinks... but after a while of that, I crave the warmth of spring...shorts, sandals, flowers and greenery.  I was reminded today what Louisiana summers are like! I went for a run this afternoon, and it was like running in the mouth of a fire breathing dragon... ugh. So begins my early morning runs again, where I race to beat the sun. I do enjoy the quiet of the mornings though, so it's not too terrible.

I did enjoy the cool runs this winter. As long as it wasn't windy. I didn't even get thirsty on my longer runs. I ran my entire half-marathon without a sip of water. I am aware that isn't super great for me, but drinking while running makes me queazy sometimes. So, I am going to work on drinking more water while working out. Apparently it's important;). And when my Bro-in-Law told me it could make you bloated when you don't drink water while working out, well, that's all I needed to hear. I hate feeling bloated.

Oh and as a side note, I have really enjoyed my lemon, mint, cucumber water. But I definitely would suggest investing in one of these. I plan on investing in one someday soon because I don't really enjoy the things floating around in my water:).

I am terrible at informing myself: reading articles, watching documentaries, etc. Mostly because I don't know who to believe or how reliable the sources are.  I am becoming a big believer in informing yourself. The more I learn about nutrition and fitness, the more motivated I am to make the changes toward a healthy, all-natural lifestyle. I am a teacher, so I guess I should educate myself a little more.

Lastly I have tried to work on my cooking skills. I am not, I repeat, not an expert cook. I am a messy, clumsy, and often times failure of a cook:( But I enjoy spending time in the kitchen trying to cook and hopefully eventually all the trying will result in me being one of those cooks. You know, the cooks where they look forward to your dishes...like my nanny! So I am not throwing in the towel! I have tried a couple new healthy dishes, and they are good but they need some work. Hopefully I will work out the kinks and be able to share them with you soon.

Dirt Don't Hurt

 When hanging with a 2 year old, you quickly learn that a little dirt won't hurt. Several times I caught  little munchkin with her well played-in and unwashed hands in my drink or my food or my face. I figured she eats with them and she's doing just fine (but other times I had to tell myself "just don't think about it";)). And when they are this cute, you just don't seem to care.

Being Aunt Morgie to this little ball of fun, is a beautiful blessing. It has been such a joy to get to spoil her and play with her. But I must say, I'm going to let Nanna take care of the spoiling for a bit. "Bribing" her with treats all the time will break the bank fast when you are out and about. (Bribery is not my preferred way to get good behavior, but I am her aunt not her mom:) And she was kind of drug all around at times.)

When you sleep with a 2 year old on an air mattress, coffee is a must! So I will work on that whole cut back on the caffeine thing as soon as I am back:) I completely agree with this picture. You could also substitute teacher with "mom"(I assume from what I see and hear) and "aunt". 

  One sleepless night (sleepless for a multitude of other reasons, but more on that at a later date), I found some great motivation for my healthy living journey on Netflix. Let's just say I will definitely be gradually making the transition to all-natural foods after I watched it.  It was a documentary on processed foods. And while my eating hasn't been perfect, I would give myself a high five for enjoying the trip while not over doing it.

I am not typically a huge fan of selfies (for myself...I am not photogenic...trust me these are the best taken out of several attempts), but I just couldn't resist getting in a few with these pretty ladies.

So I will let the pictures do the talking now... 

The party has begun!!

 We did a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Thankfully, despite her short 2 year old attention span, she is usually quite content and easily entertained by the world around her. She was very good considering all of the running around town we have done this week...for the most part...we all have our moments...

She loves to be outside. We have spent a lot of time out in this beautiful weather. Unfortunately, I have reached the point where my allergies are begging for the indoors. Sneezy McSneezerton has arrived. I rode pretty much the whole way with my sun roof open...don't think I'll be able to do that on the return trip tomorrow. Or I may just tough it out and enjoy it because this nice springish weather won't last long.

We got to spend some time with the beautiful Witte ladies. What a sweet day it was with them! Happy Early Birthday to my best and closest friend. I always treasure our time together, and I love getting to see you be a mommy! You are one amazing lady in every area of your life! 

It's a miracle! In 2 takes we got this picture. All smiles:)!!

And when you have done your job right as an aunt: play hard! You get rewarded with some snuggle time.

Or even just a few minutes to slow down and rest;)

Thank you Mrs. Peggy and Mr. Philip for letting me stay with you! I always enjoy visiting!

Spring break has been a bit of an interesting time for me, but overall it was wonderful to take time to slow down and not be on a schedule and simply enjoy time with people I love but don't see often!

Pre-Spring Break Prepping

Spring Break is here!! It felt like it would never arrive. Granted, I already miss some sweet hugs from some of my favorite little people;). But I am so thankful for some time away in North LA with some more of my favorite people (It doesn't take much to make my favorites list and each is near and dear to my heart)! I thought before I headed off for the break I would give you a bit of an update of my journey towards healthier living becoming simply who I am.

I will start by saying right now it is all about the journey;) I had one week where I am pretty sure I would give myself a sad D-. But as long as you are learning and making changes in the right direction, then it's progress and you deserve a pat on the back...handing myself a little of that grace I talked about in the previous post.  So I learned that it is no fun to eat like you don't care! I felt terrible! Bloated. Grumpy. Fatigued. I enjoy a little indulging...everything in moderation and for special occassions, like Easter (but I never felt icky, so I must have did good).

Not to mention I really do love healthy foods.

When I choose to just throw caution to the wind and not make wise food choices, I lose an opportunity to fuel my body well. I know it's a "duh" concept, but I don't consciously think that when I am choosing my foods all the time.

So in preparation to have a healthy spring break away here's the plan:

* I have killed it with 3 days straight of 6 mile runs. 6 is standard for me but three days in a row isn't I usually spread my runs out a bit throughout the week. Getting my workouts in before helps me to better  focus on the people I am with (one less thing on my plate), and my exercise will simply be all the play time I can get in with this cutie!

* I am going to pack some healthy snacks so I won't be tempted to pick up a quick treat if I get hungry along the way or while out and about.

* I look forward to some sweet girls day out meals with my favorite ladies and little ladies, so if I know where we are going, I can check the menu online for nutrition info to help me make the best choices. If not then I will just do the best I can from what I know about food. Portion control as well. I love left overs anyways! 

Most importantly I hope it just a time to get a way and be refreshed! Stay tuned for the Post-Spring Break post because I expect it to be full of fun times with fun friends and family:). 

I am a work in progress;)

Much like so many things in my life...I'm just a work in progress. If we are honest, aren't we all:)?!?

This said after I just had a mug of froyo and did everything I could to get every last little lick of chocolaty goodness. BUT I am making progress. I did not completely go sugar free this week, as I would have liked, but I did make much better choices and was much more disciplined in the amount of snacking I did. Coffee was also more about discipline and limiting the amount I drank. Just 2 days friends...that's amazing for the week I had!

I am not a fan of completely eliminating things that you love from your "diet". I have tried that before and it just makes me want it more, so I cave and it gets out of control! My lifelong goal is for sweets to be a treat once a week or for special sweet occassions;). I also found myself snacking on alot more than I needed to in an effort to try to fill that little craving for something sweet this evening. As for caffeine, it will be a treat for those days I know I need a pick me up (I'm not sure it's possible these days to grade Penmanship papers without a cup of coffee). I don't think caffeine is terrible but I don't want to rely on it to function well.

The strength training aspect of last weeks challenge was a success. I enjoyed the challenge and had a great strong run yesterday morning!

This week challenge numero uno:
Continue to make wise choices in the snacking area. Last week was definitely a step in the right direction, but I would like to do more to find new fruit, veggie, or nut options for snacking. I love to try new healthy treats. Here are a few that I will be trying this week. (Yep I am in bed...don't judge)

We also tried spaghetti squash. It's a bit crunchy for spaghetti, but I think I will experiment with it again in the future. 

Challenge numero dos: 

Remember to allow myself grace, and in turn give grace to others around me.  It is so easy to grow discouraged in the journey of life. You want so badly to be better in _______ area of your life. Each day you wake up determined that this will be the day. The day that you get it together. Maybe for you it is eating healthier and exercising. Maybe it is holding your tongue if you speak before thinking. Maybe it is being on time if you are consistently late. Whatever it is I hope there is some area we are all working to improve in our lives because we all know that no one is perfect. But often times when I miss a workout day one week or get frustrated at work when those little ears just don't seem to want to listen to "my very important instructions",  I beat myself up. I grow discouraged in the lie that I will never be able to get it together. I forget to offer myself grace. I am going to mess "it" up...whatever the "it" is...because well I am a bit of a mess most days. Thankfully God is grace. After all, we are all pretty much a mess, but God brings order to our chaos and makes us beautiful messes;). I want to be more like Him, so I will strive to be more gracious towards all people and that includes myself. 

"My grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12:8

My journey begins

If I had to choose another profession (which I love my job, so I am not in the market) I would love to be a nutritionist. I love the idea of cooking everything clean from scratch, healthy, knowing what I am doing and knowing what's really good for you. If only I could cook...one day I will be able to! I really have no need to right now living at home. I love the idea of encouraging others to do the same and learning how others live their own healthy lifestyles.

ANYWAYS soo I am starting a journey. A journey to make healthy habits more of a part of my life. Not a fad diet or a quick fix, but a slow steady move towards being the best me I can be physically, mentally, and spiritually for the long term. One step at a time.


Step 1: Detox

- I will begin by fasting on Monday with lots of water and maybe some lemon and mint in there. The goal of the week is to get past the sweets and caffeine cravings.

Step 2: More strength work

I am a runner, and I love it. But I need a change, so I am going to change out one of my days of running with some other sort of strength training since I am not training for any runs right now. I would like to build up better lean muscle and tone up some.

The absolute only reason I am posting it through a blog is because every weekend I say next week is the week. And well that hasn't been working for me;) In fact I have thought about writing this post for quite sometime now, but I wasn't too sure about it...still not too sure about it lol. So I hope this will hold me accountable and maybe encourage someone else along the way. And if you so choose to join me on this journey, I would love to walk it with you!

I will try to post about once a week to let you know how my journey is going and what new challenge I have set before myself. Most importantly I would love to walk this journey with others, so please let me know what you are doing to challenge yourself to make healthier habits more a part of your life.

His yoke is easy, and His burden is light...

So I don't know about you but I can be easily intimidated, most of the time by random things. Big books are one of those things that intimidate me. If you are familiar with the book Redeeming Love, this is such a book. It took me about 3 years of hearing how great it is to actually pick it up and commit. And boy was I glad I did...in fact, it's sitting on my nightstand to begin reading again over my Mardi Gras break.

So this intimidation often hits when it comes to reading God's Word. It is big. Has lots of deep thoughts...and I am a simple, shoot-it-to-me-straight kind of girl! Bring it down to my 2nd grade world I live in;). (I can only imagine my faces of confusion in church and Bible study that the teachers see from me). I am doing a devotion from the blog shereadstruth.org right now about God's Word. Everyday there is a snippet to read from Psalm 119...the big long Psalm right smack in the middle of your Bible. I guess I never  realized I haven't really read it in its entirety. Probably because of the length of it.

As I have been reading I have been struck with the instruction of God's Word and how it is viewed from the world's eyes and even many believer's eyes. The Bible is often perceived as a book of do's and don'ts, commands and instructions that we must follow or we are "doomed."(More on that at a later time). But as I read the Psalm, I love how the psalmist praises God for His instruction:

" I will praise you with a sincere heart when I learn Your righteous judgements."

"I rejoice in the way revealed by Your decrees as much as in all riches."

"I will delight in Your commands, which I love."

 And these are only a few of many. You see the Psalmist is not burdened by the commands of God. I believe he finds freedom in them. They are meant to give you life! A life you were meant to live from the beginning. A life not of perfection or free of trials, but a life that is guided by the One who can ease all of your burdens.

A couple of weeks ago someone shared in Sunday School about the security children find in boundaries. I see this everyday. Not only in my students but also in myself. I LOVE rules. Well, I love being given clear expectations. The more you can tell me exactly what is expected of me the easier my load feels. Otherwise I worry I am going to disappoint or mess up or really really mess up to where it deeply affects someone else, and the list goes on. Whether you like to admit it or not, I believe we all appreciate knowing what is expected of us, and we could all use some boundaries in our life. His words of instruction were never meant to be a burden. They were meant to bring freedom from the bondage of sin. There is great freedom in abiding in God's instructions if we will trust Him enough with our lives.

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing , but it is God's power to us who are being saved." 1 Cor. 1:18

Healer

These past few months have been tough to say the least. I have always tried to keep my life nice and neat and pretty. I try to be strong and paint any situation into a pretty picture. But life isn't always so easy to control and it gets messy before you even realize what's happening. Then on top of that throw in an enemy who lies in wait to pounce on your greatest weaknesses at your weakest moments and you have a full load of messy.

If it makes me stronger, makes me a better person, and strengthens my relationship with the Lord, then I will accept the messes of life. I will pick myself up by my boot straps and wade through the muck if it means I get to know my Savior better.

Weakness is a humbling place to be and sometimes that's exactly the place God needs to bring us to.

I have learned a lot about my Lord through this season. Oh how I wish that there had been a better way. An easier, less painful way. But will I ever understand what it means that God is near to the broken hearted, if I never experience heart ache? Would I truly know what it means for God to meet me where I am, and to make beauty out of my mess, if life is always sunshine and roses? Can I truly understand God as Healer unless I have needed and experienced His healing? Will I be able to appreciate His unfailing love that has no conditions attached to it, if I don't recognize that I am quite a wreck at times...more often that I care to admit? Praise God on that last one. He knows I am going to screw things up and yet He is just waiting to shower me with Grace to remind me that He will never stop loving me!

Now I don't believe that God wants us to go through hard times so we can discover these parts of Himself, but I believe sometimes it's the only way we can understand a God greater than our human minds can conceive, a love to great for our limited human hearts to truly wrap our heads around.

Yes the messy parts of life stink big time (I censored that a bit);)! And I will probably continue to do my part to avoid them at all cost. And I am certain I will continue to be annoyingly optimistic to try to avoid any glimpse of life being messy. But I hope in your moments of weakness and hurting that come that are simply unavoidable that you have the hope of Christ. That's what's truly heart breaking, is that everyday millions of people go through tough times without the hope of Christ.

I pray that you can see the beauty in your mess. To truly experience Him as Redeemer and Healer and Restorer and Faithful and Lover and Strength and Hope and Peace has been the beauty from the mess for me and has changed my view of my Father in the most precious way.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:26

In everything give thanks...

I have always loved Thanksgiving. Mostly, I hate to admit, for all the wrong reasons. I love that it marks the beginning of the holidays. I love that it means the world around us is about to be transformed into a beautiful array of golds, oranges, and reds. I love all of the fun festivities and decor. I especially appreciate that it means turkey and dressing and sweet potatoes will be a regular meal for about a month or so (which I also hate because I love it so much my pants get a little snug;)) Well this Thanksgiving I would like to take a moment to love it for the right reasons. I have so many things to be thankful for and I could use a nice refresher of how blessed I am this season.

I am thankful for my health and desire to be healthy. Every time I finish a workout and especially a tough run, I always thank God for the ability to do what I just did. I am also realizing what a struggle it can be to want to make healthy choices. I am still not where I would like to be in the discipline of eating healthy (I LOVE TO EAT;)), but I am thankful that I have the desire to work to get to that place and that I am aware of the challenge it can be. I pray God gives me discipline and a strong will to take care of the body He blessed me with.

I am thankful for a job I love. When I have had some rough days in the past month or so, I have had only one place that I find joy and encouragement and laughter, and oddly enough it is work. Whether it is from my morning greeting by the kitchen workers giving me a hard time about my still wet head in the 30 degree weather or the beautiful children who show love in the most precious ways, I am constantly reminded that I am blessed! I couldn't ask for a better work environment!  Not many people can say they love their jobs, and I am so thankful that I can!

I am thankful for the people God has surrounded me with. I am blessed with a family who puts up with me on my bad days and has been my support and encouragement through the years. I am pretty sure families don't get any better than mine. I have been surrounded with Godly friends over the years, and I am incredibly blessed with 2 beautiful girl friends that are truly a gift from God. They have always been an ear to hear and a voice of Godly wisdom through so many ups and downs.

I am thankful to be a part of God's work in His church. I am thankful to be a part of a church family that is encouraging and challenges me in my walk with the Lord. I love seeing our church growing and stepping out in faith.

Most of all I am thankful for a God who does not run out of grace and forgiveness and love. He is my rock and my redeemer, my refuge and my hiding place, my strength and my joy. I am thankful that He doesn't see me for the weak mess that I see myself as, but He sees me as the strong and beautiful daughter of a King and that He seeks daily to help me see that in myself. I am thankful that He will never give up on me!

"Come let us shout triumphantly to the rock of our salvation!
 Let us enter His presence with thanksgiving;
let us shout triumphantly to Him in song,
For the Lord is a great God,
a great King above all gods.
The depths of the earth are in His hand,
and the mountain peaks are His."
Psalm 95:1-4

Just what the doctor ordered...

13.1 miles on a beautiful day, on a beautiful quiet and quaint little course was just what the Dr. ordered for this little lady! I love to run. It is great medicine for my soul, and this run couldn't have come at a better time! The day was perfect. A bit on the chilly, breezy side, which is perfect running weather! The breeze gave a little resistance which added a little challenge to the course. The sun was shining and the air was crisp.

Today's run was different from the past ones in ways I can't explain. What I can say is that it was great! It was challenging and a nice escape from life for a brief moment in time. Not that life stinks or anything, but sometimes it brings its own challenges and it's just nice to not deal with reality for a moment or two. It's nice to just run and enjoy the scenery and simply focus on conquering the 13.1 mile journey ahead!

These 2 lovelies got up nice and early to cheer us on.

This is about mile 8. I smile when I see cameras;) And because I was having fun! 

Mr. Ronnie did great, setting a new PR for himself! 

Overall it was a great run! I thought surely something was off when my watch went off to show my first mile, saying 8:28 or 8:38 or something like that. I was shocked because I only run that quick when working speed with short distances. So I thought it must just be adrenaline at the start. Every time my watch beeped to mark another mile I checked my pace, expecting it to gradually get slower, but it stayed under 9:00 for all but 2 miles (my normal pace is between 9:30-10:00). I was excited that I would beat my personal best from my last race and meet my goal for this race, which was 2 hr. 10 min. 

At about mile 11 I heard two men talking behind me about the distance left and the time. One said that his goal was just to get in at under 2 hours. When I heard that I immediately began to think, if he is behind me and keeping my pace...wait a minute...I can get in at under 2 hours!!! Never did I think I could do that! I was so excited:) A little fire was lit under my feet and I took off. OK not really took off but I didn't slow down that is for sure! I made it in at about 1 hour and 56-57 min. (still waiting on official times to be posted). It was a mixture of pure excitement and a bit of "OH NO...now I have a big PR to work towards for next time!" Overall it has been a great journey leading up to this race, and I am thankful for the health and ability to run in God's beautiful creation! 

Call me old fashioned...

I have recently been attracted to things that used to be... a simpler life. I am not saying my life is too crazy and that I need to cut back on things. I have spent most of the weekend on the couch. I live a pretty simple life. I like it that way, with little adventures thrown in here and there.

I look back on old TV shows or the way I see generations ahead of me speak of their childhoods, and I miss that. I dream of that for my children. Today we are so glued to our technology. (Myself definitely included...On a scale of 1 being not too bad and 10 being you can't have a conversation with me without me checking my phone every 5 minutes, I would give myself about a 5.) I worry that I will lose the joy of hearing of someone's exciting news in person or through precious letter or phone call. I fear that my already introverted self, will struggle to make conversations about life. I hate the disconnect we see in our generation with one another, the lack of genuine communication and the obsession with superficial "friendships" through social networking. I hate when someone goes to tell you news and I say the dreaded phrase "Yeah I saw that on facebook".

So not as a social experiment or any deep conviction or any rebellion of social networking, I will be deleting my facebook account for an indefinite amount of time. I just want to live real life. I want to hear about your life from your very lips or through a personal text to check in with one another, I want to see your pictures personally whether through texts or in person. This is going to take some work on my part, being intentional with relationships so I do stay connected with my friends and family, but I think it will be a good thing.

I will likely continue blogging, so feel free to follow my blog. But blogs are usually more for me to journal life's journey and allow you a glimpse into my heart during that season.

I don't know that a blog post was necessary to explain my departure from facebook, but I just thought I would let you know that I would like to get to know you and be more than just "friends" if it makes you sad that you won't be able "stalk" me and find out what's new in my life through facebook;) So I will gladly give you my number if you would like to stay in touch and hang out.