Every morning I am faced with a challenge...beat the school traffic! Well really I don't mind sitting in traffic. I am usually not in a hurry to get somewhere. I purposefully allow a few extra minutes, so that I can take my time. (Unless I am ready to get home and rest or eat...then watch out;)). But since the new high school has opened and traffic has challenged me to walk out the door about 15 minutes earlier than before, I have come to enjoy some quiet moments in my classroom before the stampede of little sneakers hits the halls. I am disappointed if I miss this time because it has become a precious time that I depend on to start my day right. It's time reserved for my Love. The One who has and will always hold my heart. The One who knows just what I need to start my day.
Over the past few weeks I have been hit hard with the fact that I struggle to keep up with Scripture and Bible studies. You see I am a simple simple girl! I take things best in small, tiny doses. So lately I have been overwhelmed with the feeling that I will never really be able to grasp all of the Scriptures and truly understand them. Then there is remembering everything that I read...the list goes on. I usually can't read a big chunk of Scripture and truly wrap my head around it to where I can store the little treasure in the depths of my heart. And usually I need to read the same verse 10 times in an attempt to get it all (much of that is due to my overactive, wandering mind). Then I fall into the comparison trap of all the over beautiful women of God that I am so blessed to know, and I am left feeling like a I'm-never-going-to-get-this-how-in-the-world-do-they-do-it Christian gal. I am left feeling discouraged in my walk with the Lord. (Little side-note the comparison trap is one Satan loves to see us fall into. I need to work on praying that God will protect my heart from allowing those thoughts to creep in and take root.)
But then I was overcome with the beauty of the Scriptures! That they are God's words. His love letter to His beloved daughter. Straight to my heart! And that part of the beauty of God is the mystery of God. The fact that He is so grand and big and marvelous that no one will ever be able to wrap their minds around all that He is. I find hope and encouragement in knowing that this journey with the Lord is one that will always have me in a place of humility, awe, and growth. And though I may not ever read the whole Bible in a year and actually have any clue what I read, I am learning that my walk with my Lord may be more of a quiet stroll through Scriptures as He unveils His beauty and mystery to me in a way that He knows my heart can understand. In a way my heart needs. In gentleness. With purpose. In love. In beauty. Oh His beautiful, powerful, unchanging words!
For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double edged sword penetrating as far as joints and marrow and soul and spirit and is a discerner of the thought and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
