Passionate pursuit

Singleness. I get all kinds of responses when asked if I am dating or married. As I muster my strength to prepare for yet another conversation on my lack of a significant other, I nervously say no, waiting to see how this one will respond. Some say I am young and have plenty of time. In other words...good for you, enjoy your singleness, no need to rush. Others say, "Well why not?"  Which in my mind is interpreted a little something like this: What's wrong with you?  As if they are saying if you are still single, then you must have problems. Neither of these are conversations I enjoy having. I have no words for them except that I am simply waiting on the Lord. Some understand, many don't.

Most days I can wake up and see that God has my life in His hands, and that He is working all things out for His glory and my good.
Most days!

Some days (more than I care to admit if I am honest) it only starts out that way, and my heart quickly takes a downward spiral. On these days, the most well intentioned comments such as: "God has someone special out there for you." or "I can't believe someone hasn't snatched you up yet." hit the tender parts of my heart all wrong. I truly appreciate these words because I know it means that I have a great many people that care for me and want to see me experience the happiness that they have in their marriages and families.

Our society is filled with ways to meet your mate. Internet dating, speed dating, social media, and reality shows. I have nothing against any of these methods! I know some lovely couples...some of my favorites in fact that met in some of these ways, and I love their stories. The newest show "It Takes a Church" (which I walked in on my dad watching...), is a show where a church sets up single ladies and gentlemen in the church. I have only seen the commercials for it. I don't know how I feel about this.

I guess I am just very convicted in my waiting. I believe (I speak only for my journey. I truly believe it is different for each of us) that it is a matter of faith. If I begin to try to make it happen for myself, I find that I lose sight of my first love (Rev.2:4) and my walk with the Lord severely suffers. And if I am losing sight of the Lord, then something is terribly wrong with that approach. For me, I believe that the Lord is asking me to trust Him to bring it all together in His perfect way and His perfect timing.

So as I see people chasing so hard after love. As I see the longings of my own heart, I am convicted. If we as singles would pursue the Lord with as much energy as we do a relationship, how much different would our relationships with Christ look. If we longed to love and be loved by the One who is love as much as we long for an earthly love, how would that change the way we live our lives. I want to meet my special someone on a run. Not my morning runs;) I would like to run up alongside someone who is pursuing a life in Christ. My heart's desire has always been that someone will fall in love with me for the way that I am in love with the Lord, and I pray I will love someone for the same reasons.

I believe that if I pursue Christ, run hard after Him, and remember my first love, that He will bless me in ways I never imagined. I trust that He knows the desires of my heart and that He only has the very best in store for me!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Excuses and Distractions

How I ever get anything done is a miracle. I feel like I am so easily distracted. I guess the Lord blessed me with just enough adult ADD (self-diagnosed and hopefully a bit exaggerated) so that I can relate more to my little daydreaming students. Side note: There are so many things that I have to correct my students on and then turn around and find myself doing the exact same thing. Examples: 1. watching where you are going 2. reading directions carefully. And now I find I have more and more empathy for those students who struggle to stay on task. I always say if I ever decide to go back to school for my masters, it will definitely be a challenge!

SO to help with my struggle to keep my attention on any one thing for longer than five 5 minutes, I am going to do my very best to have unplugged time. I have goals I would like to accomplish this summer. I do not want to waste this time off! And it would be sssoo easy to get caught up in facebook and pinterest and watching all the morning talk shows and then look up and my day is gone. It's so easy to put off for tomorrow what needs to be done today. And that can become such a vicious cycle. I am going to do my absolute very best to not check anything on my social media, until after 7 pm each evening.

I have a few opportunities already lined up to hang out with some sweet people I love. I hope that the summer is filled with many more. I want to fully enjoy these moments!

To start the summer off right, I have 2 weeks with this wild child and my preggy sister!

I also pray that this summer is a season of intimate time with my Savior. Confession time... I feel that in the craziness of life, I have seen my focus in my relationship with the Lord struggle. My heart longs for something deeper. I am hungry to know the depths of God's love for me and to have a passion for sharing that love with others. I could go on and on about why I have allowed distractions to slowly take my focus but I will just end with this. I am thankful that I serve a God of grace. Oh how I have learned of my wretchedness and my need for His grace! He is waiting patiently to spend intimate mornings with me, to remind me of all that He is and all that I am in Him. He is eager to reveal Himself to us all in new ways everyday.

Another big goal for the summer, is to meet some health and fitness goals. I am learning that everyday I need to be on guard...looking out for places I am about to make a lame excuse. An excuse I am sure to regret!  Laziness isn't an option and my next treat day will be my birthday (Aug.6 if anyone would like to join me...I already know what it shall be;). I also want to really train hard, I have plenty of time on my hands!  So no excuses! Plus,  I can do a lot more for the Lord working with children if I am healthy and strong.

Pretty much my summer goal in all areas is to find the self-discipline that is hiding somewhere deep down inside me! Not to eliminate things completely, but to learn how to live with them and not allow them to be consuming.

So this will be my last blog post for a while. One less distraction. One less excuse (pinterest makes me hungry). I will still be on Facebook (I imagine I will not miss an evening of checking it),  but if you need to get me fast, text is the best way. I'll have that ringer up loud since my summer job is to find a job.