Why can't I work a camera?!?

So I have this incredible inability to work a camera, so I get frustrated and give up easy. So here are a few random pictures from this fun Ruston weekend. You will see towards the end some prime examples of my struggle with photography.My beautiful college roommate!! She's the next bride to be!!
BIRMY! So great to see you:)
They had all different kinds of yummy cheesecakes for their wedding cakes. Such a sweet sweet wedding!
Wally and Heather
It was quite warm so they had cute fans...notice the two little people jumping on the bottom, that was the bride and groom.
Beautiful friends...Katie and Lydia. I love any excuse to see old friends!
My freshman group graduated, and I got to see one of them for a moment:) Pretty Meleah!
Katie and Jeremy... I always take a picture of you two:)
Oh my

BRIGHT

blurry
just not that great
dark...despite my failure to document our time together...me and Amanda had a wonderful weekend together! I am so thankful that she puts up with me all the time:)

Perspectives

Well I took a nap today, which will explain why I am up at almost 1 am writing.

This week I became very overwhelmed with my life. Like to the point where I was having trouble sleeping (which I NEVER have trouble sleeping! I enjoy sleep way too much), lost my appetite a bit (another thing that never happens), and was on the verge of tears at any given moment. I wouldn't call this stress; I prefer to use the term overwhelmed. I just am weary from life.
So what I have learned needs to happen in these times is to stop and put things in the right perspective. My life is not about me, it is not about a job or money or friends or the comforts we seem to believe we have the rights to , but it is all, 100%, completely, about Him. (Yes this is a truth we all know! But I have also learned this year that knowing truth is one thing, but when God puts you in a place where you must put it into practice, that is very difficult and great all at the same time.) I then begin to realize that wherever I am and whatever God has me doing, no matter how small and insignificant the task may seem, I will and should and deeply desire to do it with all I have for His glory. Because you see it is all about obedience. OK let me back up, I was struggling with feeling like I was not doing anything great for His name. I wasn't risking my life for the Gospel. I mean pretty much I have just been staying home. I am so ready to go on another mission trip. I ache for a chance to hold and hug hurting children and to love the poor, but God has me at home, which I know is right where I need to be and I am so enjoying it. But sometimes I just feel like I should be doing more...point is even though being home right now seems insignificant and boring at times, it is where God has me and I will be obedient in the small things. For He will know that we love Him by our obedience to Him (paraphrase I am getting too sleepy to look it up).

So if this late night blog of jumbled thoughts even makes sense I will wrap it up by saying: No matter how overwhelming life seems to get, I will take it on with the strength given to me in Christ. I will have the joy of the Lord. I will be strive to be set apart. Looking forward to what is ahead and keeping my eyes on my Master, who is just longing for me to wait and see what amazing things He has in store.

And to the fam: No worries this does not mean I am looking to or feel called to go over seas for permanent missions one day. I am just ready for short term trips again. I love you and am so thankful for you all.

What does it really mean and will I ever REALLY know?

I must confess ... I am not quite what most people would consider normal. Example: I love Mondays. Yes I just said that I LOVE Mondays and it was not sarcastic. They might be one of my favorite days and here is why ... it is a fresh start. Mondays for me are a chance to put the yesterdays behind me and do better, be better. So this means that Sunday nights are usually spent thinking on things I want to improve in my life, and I just thought I would share this weeks thoughts:)

What does it really mean to live like the God of the Universe loves me? I mean REALLY live like it makes a difference in my life? I mean this is a love like no other. A love greater than what my feeble mind can comprehend. A love I take for granted on a daily basis. When I get excited about a restaurant or a new find of any kind I can't wait to share these great things with anyone and everyone. Example: At IHOP once I ordered my favorite pancakes, (Harvest grain and nut) and I wanted to share this great joy with all my friends! I wanted them to taste and see how yummy these pancakes are! SO What will it look like in my life when I truly let the gospel and all it's about and the love it carries and the hope and the joy and the beauty change how I look at others? What will it look like when I excitedly and eagerly beg them to just taste and see? So Lord teach me to be obedient, to be bold, to love like their life depends on it, and to find my confidence fully in You and not in myself.

And what does it mean to become less so that You may be great in my life? To get out of the way so that You are seen and not me? What does that look like for me tomorrow, and the next?

I guess I am going to have to ask the Lord to teach me a little bit of this this week because I have no clue. I mean sure I know of the little pieces of my life that I allow Him to take part in, but oh how I long for it to be more, to be all of me. Show me what that looks like. Where I see the world as Christ does, where I hurt for people as He does, and long to see hearts changed as Jesus does.

So basically my fresh start for this Monday is to jump off the pity party train that so easily invites me to stay for far too long and to find life and joy and fulfillment and beauty in a life lived in the grace of my mighty God.

Some fun times as of late...

My life has been quite slow lately...um maybe that doesn't even do it justice. But it's been nice to have my mom home to live the slow life with me (despite the not so great reason that she's home). We eat together, nap together, watch too much tv together....I just don't want her to have to do it all on her own, ugh but neither of us are huge fans of this lazy life. But now she knows why I don't have much to chat about...there's not anything to say when nothing has happened. But I will make myself busy this week if it kills me!

Anyways I might have a few fun things to share with you from my adventure to Ruston... (I saved the best for last:))

* First I got to see a sweet friend who is going to England within the next year to do campus ministry for a few years if not longer. I am super excited for her and can't wait to go visit.

* Then I got to see the gang!! OH how I love this gang of girls!! Heather, Katie, Amber, and Steph just make my heart happy!

* Steph and I had a sweet sleep over...I so miss sweet talks with this dear friend! She was my roommate jr. and sr. yr of college, so we always just had good chats about life and living:) Then we went for a run...we ran a half marathon on Feb. 28th, let's just say we (meaning I, she is much more in shape than I am) could barely run a straight mile...ugh...I am working on that this week with all that free time for sure!

* We played sand volleyball!!! Despite what looked like OOOOHHH I was so excited...um well maybe too excited...I get uncontrollably hyper at times and this was unfortunately one of those times. You see my friends have seen this in me before and are still my friends, which I am very grateful for;) But I had a friend there that had invited some new friends of hers, to kind of introduce the old and new friends....I was so worried they were going to think I was crazy, because well I would have!

* Scuba (aka Steven, a friend from Ruston, who is now at seminary) and I were on our way and were about half way and running out of things to chat about. So to help things along I had some battle of the sexes cards (like trivia cards). One of the questions was what are the 4 "c"s of a diamond. Scuba confidently replied "cut, color, cleavage,..." to which I replied "WHAT?!? Are you serious??!??" (or something to that effect I am sure becuase I instantly began in a fit of uncontrollable laughter where words don't come out very well) It was hilarious, especially since he really thought that was one of them.