Friday, July 16, 2010

Permanent butterflies!

I believe that I will have permanent butterflies for at least the next month. Starting school is very exciting but quite nerve racking all at the same time!

Tonight has reminded me of a saying that my Nanny always says: "Hurry up and wait" that seems to be the theme of life for most people these days. Hurry up and get a job and wait 3 months, let the nerves build to the absolute peak of all you can bear and then wait 3 more weeks under the weight of all your nerves and fears and just pray that you don't throw up every time you think about it or break down in tears in public.

Today I got to meet my co-workers, and they all seem so wonderful! But I walked away still quite overwhelmed and with butterflies, butterflies that don't seem to be going away. Here's why: (my new list of fears to add to the previous one...try to keep up.)
*What if I can't connect with my co-workers?
*What is the kids don't even like me because I can't be nice to them for a few weeks at least!
*What if I am terrible at this?
*I am terrible at cutesy creative stuff like bulletin boards (I am probably more concerned about this than anything! RIDICULOUS!)
*Everyone keeps saying they have heard great things about me, and I am so worried that I won't live up to those expectations!

I am sure there are more but it's WAY LATE and I don't want to dwell on these things!! I just needed to get them off my chest. Plus these fears are not of the Lord, and I will be working to turn them over to Him. For His name and His Renown are the desires of my heart! He will work despite my complete inability and that my friends is a BEAUTIFUL thing!


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